Apollo
by Libazeth
Summary: These are songfics individual ratings are included inside. Some were posted before, some weren't, so... read.
1. Intro

APOLLO  
  
Well, I'm an obsessive songfic writer.  
  
So I've decied to cut down on the  
  
story traffic in here and move all my  
  
songfics into this story. It's Apollo,  
  
Greek god of light and music. So,  
  
review, don't review, whatever. It's  
  
not like anyone review anyway. 


	2. Hands Clean, Alanis Morisette PG13

**A/N: I wrote this a while ago, but I just finished it up. If the end is a bit… different from the rest of it, it's because I wrote it a month later. So. R/R.**

**A/N II: Reformated 2.2.07, in a bored moment. Lyrics moved to bottom, obvious weird typos changed.**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. How sad for me.**

Alec sighed as he watched Max from across the crowded bar. She was so great… as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was attracted to her. _Really_ attracted. And tonight, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He knew it was wrong; she loved Logan, not him, and even though they couldn't touch they both still hoped. Still, every time she shifted he felt a spark run through him and he could almost feel the fabric of her shirt, never mind the felling of her skin. He sighed and finished his beer, still watching her. Although they were not yet close friends, they were getting there. He guessed it was because of Rachel, who let Max see just who Alec really was: that he could care, just like anybody else and that he too had a bit of humanity in him, that he could feel for someone the way she felt for Logan, that he had felt loss and love. So they both put forth their best and tried to be decent, because, no matter how much they denied it, they did respect each other. She because he had stayed and survived, he because she had escaped and lived. Yet another thing he refused to admit was that he was grateful to her-- she had given him a life and a home and led him to a job and friends.

As Max stood up to leave, Alec felt his eyes remain riveted to her form and he had the urge to follower her out and corner her and… he cut himself off as something occurred to him, and he stood up.

Max walked out of Crash, sighing. She had come to take her mind off Logan, but that clearly wasn't about to happen; especially with her hormones in overdrive. Her thoughts of seeing Logan without the virus were plaguing her. Things to with Logan, to Logan, on Logan… Her dreams of Logan, however, were not as bad as some others she was thinking of; namely the newly freed X5, the sarcastic, jerky, blond, build, sexy-- Max cut herself off. Whoa girl, she thought to herself, gotta keep your mind in check. Let's not think about Alec. Her mind wasn't quite listening and she felt herself flush as she remembered him emerging from the shower as she walked into his apartment unannounced. She remember the feeling as he pressed her to the ground, lying on top of her and breathing heavily as they finished sparring-- his weight crushing her as she fought to keep herself from enjoying it. She was walking up to her baby when she heard someone walking behind her; she froze, always on her guard since her last experience with White. She braced herself and spun around, about to jump the person for two reasons: self-protection and sex. They were clearly male, she knew, and they were following her—it was their fault, really, for following her—she blinked when she realized whom she had just pinned to the cement.

Alec looked up at her.

"Max." his voice was deep and throaty, his desires clear.

Max pulled away, needing all her strength to separate herself from his built body. "Alec, what are you--"

He cut her off. "You're in heat, aren't you." It wasn't a question, but a statement of the obvious. He took a step towards her, reaching out to touch her arm.

"Oh, god." Max groaned and pulled her burning skin away from him. "Alec, go. Now."

He shrugged, taking another step forward. "Sorry, Max, can't do that."

Max went to step back, but found herself against the wall of Crash. She reached up to wrap her arms around him, kissing him for one electric moment before pulling away. "Alec, leave. I don't want this to happen--"

He cut her off yet again, and placed his arms on the wall, one on either side of her body, effectively trapping her against the wall when something occurred to him. "Max, have you ever been around another X5 when you're in heat?"

Max shook her head, suddenly realizing what he meant. "We left… to early… were separated by the… the time it happened…" The coherent train of thought long since crashed into the proverbial gutter that had become Max's life three times a year. The only thing left in her mind was the simple, pure power that she and Alec held; he needed her, she needed him, all because of a seemingly cruel and sadistic joke forced onto them by people who thought they could be gods. A simple draw between two people who could easily kill a normal person at a moment's notice: if not with force then by simply drowning in the tension they were emitting.

Alec grinned sadistically. "Really, Max. Well, isn't that interesting. Why don't I show you what happens to a male X5 around a girl in heat." He lowered his head to capture her lips in a bruising kiss. Both their bodies screamed in ecstasy, wanting more, while their minds cried out against what would change so many things.

As Alec pressed his body against Max's, they both froze, realizing exactly what was happening.

Alec pulled away with a shuddering gasp. "Sorry, Max--"

Max was breathing just as heavily. "Alec, not your fault… I should have stayed home…"

Again they crashed together, lighting sparks bright enough to power all of Seattle, each craving a simple act-- one, however, that both souls fought to give into to. However, it was a fight of strength, and bodies prevailed.

As Alec's hands slid around Max's waist, Max moaned and deepened the kiss. As she ran out of air—a few minutes later, admittedly, due to the Manticore lung capacity—she broke away to draw a shuddering breath. The last kiss had enough of an effect to let her think somewhat clearly, clearly enough to realize what was happening. "This won't work, it can't happen." She stated.

Alec nodded. "I'll leave."

Max nodded as well. "I'll go home."

Alec still held her waist, though, and he made no move to leave.

Max sighed. "You're not moving."

Alec chuckled as he looked down at his hands. "I'm not, am I?"

Max giggled as well. "Nope."

"You're not going either." He pointed out.

"I can't, you're holding onto me." Max pointed out.

Alec pursed his lips. "I'm going."

A few second later, however, they were still pressed together, warming each other against the cold Seattle night. Max burst into laughter. "This isn't working."

Alec started laughing as well. "I have to leave."

However, as they laughed, both were feeling the desire building up again, and they knew that it was a lost cause. Max went to stifle her laugher by resting her head against Alec's shoulder, but that made it worse… and, for the third time in the dark parking lot, the battle of mind versus body began. Before they could consider anything else, they had climbed onto her bike, and as she flew down the street she had no regard for speed limits. All she knew was the feeling of Alec pressed against her, his arms around her waist, and the desire to get to his apartment as soon as possible. As they reached it, Alec kissed her neck and pulled her off the bike and into his apartment. "Max, are you sure…"

Max reached out to touch his cheek. "Bit late, isn't it Alec?"

Alec groaned. "Max, I'm sorry… I should have left you when I could."

Max sighed as she made the effort to separate herself from Alec. "Alec, I need this. Not your fault, not mine, it's Manticore's…"

Alec began to argue, but Max cut him off with another kiss. She felt him respond, and she began backing him up against the wall.

Alec swallowed and pulled away; admittedly against Max's-- and his-- instincts. "You know what, Max?"

Max groaned into his neck. "What, Alec?" She asked miserably.

"I really hate Manticore." He replied, leaning over to kiss her again.

Max laughed against his lips. "Alec, so do I. Right now I need this, though. I want this, you want this, and we can forget it happened tomorrow."

Alec nodded and let her capture his lips again. His hands, of their own accord, slid around her waist and fingered the hem of her shirt. She pulled away so he could remove it, and as they backed into his room, shedding clothing, they faintly heard a beeper beeping.

Alec lay in his bed, spooned against Max. As he slowly gained consciousness, he sighed. He pulled away, sore, knowing his body would be covered in tell-tale bites and scratches. He felt Max stir as he got off the bed, and he stretched. Alec walked into the bathroom, locking the door, planning on giving Max plenty of time to run and avoid confrontation… that was, after all, what X5s did best; next to fighting of course.

He walked into the shower, washing away the memories of last night, the hot water cleaning the deep marks on his back. He sighed as he turned off the water a few minutes later, and he climbed out. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and walked into the bedroom.

He stopped, shock, as he has Max still sitting on the bed. "Max?" he asked, confused.

"Alec, I'm sorry."

"About what? It wasn't your fault."

Max gestured at his chest and back where fingernail marks were slowly fading. "Everything. It was my fault, I should have known better."

Alec sighed. "Max, we can pretend it didn't happen. It wasn't what either of us wanted, so…"

"It didn't happen." Max continued, trying to convince herself.

Alec nodded and put on a shirt. "So, Max, what are you doing in my apartment at eight in the morning?"

Max sighed and held up the small black object in her hand. "Logan needs us."

Alec groaned. "Logan."

Max rested her head on the bed, a pose that looked amusingly catlike. "We won't tell him."

"Max, he'd understand."

Max sat up, angrily. "No, Alec. We will not tell him, because it didn't happen. He doesn't need to know."

Alec reached out to touch her arm. "Yes, Max, he does."

Max sighed and looked down as she pulled away from Alec. "I don't want him to know. He'd be disgusted." Before Alec could object, she continued. "Come on, he paged sometime last night."

The two headed out the door.

**Lyrics:**

_If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened  
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself  
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and  
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much_

Ooh this could be messy  
But you don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later  
And no one knows except the both of us  
And I have honored your request for silence  
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me  
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me  
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian  
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy  
But you don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later  
And no one knows except the both of us  
I've more than honored your request for silence  
And you've washed your hands clean of this

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?  
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?  
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family  
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse  
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly  
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and  
Ooh I don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime


	3. In my heart, ?, PG

Disclaimer: Song isn't mine, Dark Angel is Fox ect. ect. (to see who, exactly, owns it go check out somebody else's fic. I'm too lazy) The only things I own are my obsessions.  
  
A/N: If you know me, you KNEW this was coming-- it was inevitable. I'm done fighting it, and I'm giving in to my hopeless romantic of a muse.  
  
Rating: PG verging on PG13  
  
Summery: Max/Logan songfic while Max was still in Manticore-- why did Logan believe she was alive? Even if you HATE this song, as I'm sure many of you do, please R/R just for the hell of it… I think it will actually turn out pretty well!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Logan sighed as he lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He missed Max so much, he didn't know what to do with himself. It had been two months and he was getting better, getting up and working, cooking, writing… but he didn't sleep. He couldn't. When he did, she was in his dreams and when he woke it was like he was loosing her all over again. He slowly sat up as Bling walked in and handed him a cup of tea.  
  
"Logan, you need to sleep. You can't do this to yourself."  
  
Logan shook his head. "I can't sleep, Bling. I miss her too much. It's like she's haunting me." He took a big swig of the tea, letting the liquid burn his mouth and leave a trail of fire down his throat.  
  
Suddenly he felt very tired. He felt Bling take the cup form him, and faintly heard his voice.  
  
"Sorry, Logan, but I didn't have a choice."  
  
Every night in my heart I see you, I feel you- That is how I know you go on;  
  
Logan sighed as he found himself standing in a room that looked too familiar. The ballroom where he and Max had danced the first time… and every time since. The place he always returned to. The place that made him believe in his heart she was still alive. He looked around, then at himself, noting his change from his grungy comfortable clothes that he wore to work at home to a tux.  
  
He groaned. "Uhh, Bling!" he moaned as he listened to the music. He listened to the lyrics, faintly remembering seeing the movie when his older cousin had dragged him to it. He didn't remember the plot, exactly, but he knew it was based on the sinking of the Titanic. He began to hum the tune, closing his eyes and just listening to the music. He spun around as he heard laughter behind him.  
  
Far across the distance and spaces between us, You have come to show you go on;  
  
Max stood in the corner of the room, watching Logan hum and sway slightly. She smiled at him when he gasped as he saw her. "What, you thought I would leave you hear all alone?"  
  
He smiled and walked up to her. "Never know what kind of messed-up schedule they'll have you on."  
  
Max took his hand. "Yeah… haven't seen you for a while-- you look tired. You been sleeping?"  
  
Logan raised her hand and placed it on his shoulder, leading her around the room to the music. "No, you wore off on me."  
  
Max raised her eyebrows. "Really. And what made you decide to sleep tonight? I've been getting the feeling you're ignoring me."  
  
Logan mock-gasped. "Never, Max."  
  
Max grinned and stepped closer to him. She stood on her toes and leaned over to his ear. "You didn't answer the question," she whispered seductively.  
  
Near, Far, Wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on;  
  
He sighed into her hair, head spinning as her scent and the feeling of having her so close surrounded him. "I know." he whispered back.  
  
Max laughed. "Well, are you going to?"  
  
Logan tilted his head, pulling back to look at her quizzically. "Promise not to laugh?"  
  
Max held up three fingers. "Scout's honor."  
  
Logan grabbed her hand, then the other, holding her hands at her sides. "Would help if I didn't know your past," he muttered.  
  
Max groaned in exasperation. "Logan, I promise! Just tell me, okay?"  
  
Logan dropped her hands and made a face. "Bling drugged my tea."  
  
Max lost it. She cracked up, holding on to him for support. Logan swatted her.  
  
"You promised not to laugh!" he cried.  
  
Max grinned at him and sobered. "Well… I lied." As she said that, she realized just how close he was.  
  
Once more you show me the door, And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.  
  
As Logan bent to kiss her, she pulled away. She looked at him apologetically. "I don't want to go back yet."  
  
Logan sighed and pulled her into a hug. "How are you doing?"  
  
Max felt so warm and safe in Logan's arms she could barley answer, not wanting to bring him more pain. "I'm okay. Sometimes I swear I hear Zack screaming at night, though. It's like, I just can't believe he's dead."  
  
Logan brushed her hair away from her face. "I know the feeling."  
  
Max felt tears build up. "Logan…" she began. He stopped her, however, holding a finger to her lips.  
  
Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime, And never let go 'til we're gone;  
  
"Don't." he whispered, voice husky. "Don't say it."  
  
Max sighed. "You need to let me go. I can't stand the thought of you hurting over me. We both knew it was bound to happen, that one of us would have to leave."  
  
Logan pulled away, turning his back to her. "Max, no. I can't-" he voice broke. "I can't let you go, knowing you're out there, alive, hurting."  
  
Max bit her lip. She reached out to touch his shoulder. "No more." she said. "No more crying over me, or anything else. I want to be happy right now, Logan."  
  
Logan turned to her, seeing the single tear that rolled down her cheek. He reached out to brush it away, reveling in the feeling of her skin. "Okay." he replied, just as softly. "No more."  
  
Max smiled at him, trying to memorize everything about him. "Dance with me?" she finally said.  
  
Love was when I loved you, One true time I hold to, In my life we'll always go on;  
  
Logan held out his hand, and Max placed hers in it. He pulled her to him, and they began to sway to the music. Max sighed softly out of happiness as she leaned against him. "Logan, I miss you so much…" she murmured.  
  
Logan held her closer. "I miss you too."  
  
Max pulled back far enough to look him in the eye. "Manticore food sucks." she informed him.  
  
Logan burst out laughing, but quickly calmed down. "And Eyes Only can't get ANY good information anymore. Asha and her crew are good, but they aren't you."  
  
Max suddenly felt her blood run cold. "Asha?" she asked. "Who's Asha?"  
  
Logan smiled at her, trying to calm her. "A friend, works with a group that fights for the good side."  
  
Max wasn't content with that answer. "Friend how?"  
  
Logan chuckled lightly. "Miss Max, do I sense a bit of protectiveness in your voice?"  
  
Max gave him an innocent look. "Who, me?"  
  
Logan continued teasing. "Yes, you. I am getting the feeling you already don't like Asha very much, and I just can't figure out why."  
  
Near, Far, Wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on;  
  
Max made a face. "You're avoiding the question."  
  
Logan ignored her comment. "You know, I am definitely sensing something here. Not sure what though. Maybe… jealousy?"  
  
Max smiled at him. "Damn straight. Now, Mr. Cale, friend how?"  
  
Logan grinned at her admission. "Business associate-friend, okay?" he cleared as he continued to dance with her around the room.  
  
Max shook her head as she made a loud buzzer sound. "Oh, that's clear. We were business associates for, what, a year?"  
  
Logan shook his head. "Max, Max, Max. That was denial."  
  
Max groaned. "Don't I know it. Almost drowned in that river."  
  
Logan laughed lightly. "Look. She's just a friend. You, Max, are this."  
  
Once more you show me the door, And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.  
  
As he bent to kiss her, Max didn't fight him. Clinging to him, she met him halfway instead. As their lips met for a split second they bot felt the floor yanked from under them as they were sent flailing back to the real world.  
  
As Max sat up, smiling, she quickly covered it as she saw Renfro standing in the corner.  
  
"Good. You're up, 452." she said coldly. She turned to the guard on her left. "Take her to H302, and double her dosage." With that, she turned to Max. "You won't be smiling nearly as much when you get back, 452."  
  
Max stood up and let them lead her out of her room. As they led her down the hall, she turned back to Renfro just long enough to blow her an impudent kiss. She allowed herself one moment of glory at her expression before bracing herself for the horrors about to come. As they strapped her to the cold metal table she closed her eyes and brought up a picture of Logan, smiling at her, laughing with her. Logan, she thought, I will get back to you. 


	4. Ours, Sugar Ray (sequel to ch2); PG13

A/N: I just wrote this because I had some extra time on my hands and a bit of writer's block for I Hate The Way. So this popped up. Warning: it took about an hour to write and is completely insane, un-beta-ed, and doesn't make much sense. Flame away, the weather's cold over here.

The show's not mine. The show's Fox and the people in the credits, the song is Sugar Ray and some other people. 

R/R Please.

  
**_||I met a girl  
She had another  
but I didn't know  
The music was h*lla banging  
on the stereo  
A latte later, she said Yes  
Grabbed me by the hands, much respect  
Bounce to bounce came with what I came to get,  
(yeah this is how the story goes) mmm? ||_**

****

Max and Alec walked into the hall. Max looked around uncomfortably. She glanced at Alec. "Alec?" she began tentatively. Alec shook his head, clearly also uncomfortable. As he knocked on the door, he spoke.

"It didn't happen."

"Besides, its not like we had a choice. So it might as well not have happened." Max turned away from him and the door.

"What didn't happen?" A voice rang out behind then. Alec spun around and bit his lip.

Max, however, was not paying close attention. Assuming it was Alec speaking, she nodded. "Exactly."

Logan spoke again. "No, really, what didn't happen?"

  
**_||She was your woman, but she was my girl  
One on one, the queen of two worlds  
She was your woman, but she was my girl  
That would make her ours  
Mmmm hmmm||_**

Max spun around to face Logan. "Nothing happened."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "I know that. I want to know what didn't happen."

Alec began. "Lets see. I wasn't shot."

Max though for a minute. "I didn't kill Normal."

"I didn't rob someone." Max glared at him. He elaborated. "Last night, at least."

Max smirked at him and added on. "White didn't find us."

"I didn't seduce Original Cindy." At that, Logan snorted.

||Next thing I know, she's with my sister  
Talking to my mother, about the other  
Is my girlie at home  
Or is she with another  
Another another another another||

"I wasn't fired, for once."

"I didn't convince Sketchy not to hit on some chick I knew was gay."

Max turned to Alec and slapped his arm. Logan grinned and laughed. "Okay, okay."

Max and Alec were having too much fun, though.

"I didn't meet anyone famous." Alec continued.

Max grinned. "I didn't sleep with Alec."

The two froze as they realized what she said, and Logan blinked. "Excuse me?"**  
  
**

**||_Tell me if you've seen him my brutha  
A ménage-a-three's not hard to see till then  
Don't try to put me on hold  
Shut up the situation  
Like a Springer episode  
Shut the door baby  
Don't say a word||_**

Max turned away quickly. "Um… I'll see you two later."

Alec grimaced and grabbed her. "No way, Max."

She broke away, though, and was gone before he could react.

Logan stared after her. He slowly turned to Alec, who was looking extremely mad. "She SLEPT with you?"

Alec groaned. "She was in heat."

Logan blinked. "Oh."

Alec sighed. "It's not like we could help it, I mean. Wasn't a hell of a lot of fun for me. Hormones are stronger than my mind, though."

Logan sighed and waved him inside. "I can imagine."

_  
||**She was your woman, but she was my girl  
One on one, the queen of two worlds  
That would make her ours  
Mmmm hmmmmm  
she's ours mmmm hmmmmm||**_

Alec slid down into the sofa. Logan pulled over a chair. "So it's like… you turn into different people?"

Alec heard the desperate tinge in his tone. "Yeah. Hell, I can barely remember it."

"You're lying."

Alec nodded guiltily. "I know. I don't want to rub it in." There was silence. Then,

"I've never seen her in heat…"

"It's not pretty. She gets what she wants and it doesn't matter how she gets it. There's no remorse, no guilt, no need to know the person. It's just this… it's this amount of desire, pure adrenaline for one cause… there's no coherent thought. And then, in the morning, when you wake up and you roll over and half the time you don't know who you're with, or when you do the majority of the time you've just ruined everything with them; all the feelings that weren't passion you would have felt the night before, over time, they all come rushing in at once and you don't know what happened and it's the intense feeling of shame and disgust and fear because you lost control and that weakness."**__**

Logan nodded and stood up. "Want a drink?"

"Please."

  
||**_Dark blue skies  
over deep waters  
You're drowning in a world of blue  
Never taking time to separate the two  
Both of 'em goin' crazy over you||_**

Logan and Alec both took yet another deep swig of the amber liquid. Alec rested back into the cushions. "So, Logan."

Logan looked at him. "Truth."

"You every sleep with Max?"

"Nope."

Alec laughed out loud. "That's what Max said, but I though she was just being… you know…"

"A girl?"

"Yeah."

  
||**_One's your lover, the other's your man  
Put them together  
they wouldn't understand  
She's mine  
but you can have her  
She's yours  
I already had her  
She's mine?||_**

****

Logan looked at Alec. They were both extremely drunk. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Was it good?"

Alec's eyes widened. "Logan…" He complained. "I wanna do a dare."

"Nu-uh. You said truth."

Alec looked down. "It was all hormones. Hazy, you know. But, then, it was… amazing."

Logan grinned at him, showing him it was okay. "And then you woke up."

Alec laughed. "Oh yeah. Logan, you know she loves you."

"Right." Logan snorted. 

"No, seriously. She thought of you. Through all those hormones and the fog she knew… she tried to stop. We both did. She thought through it and she knew it would hurt you."

"And that really stopped her; she couldn't even tell me, today. She wasn't going to tell me."

Alec sighed and rubbed his eyes. "She was embarrassed. She didn't want to fess up—it was something she couldn't help. And I was with her all the way. Logan, when it's like that only one person it sane at a time. And the other is doing the best to take away the real world. She loves you, Cale."

  
||**_She was your woman, but she was my girl  
One on one, the queen of two worlds  
She was your woman, but she was my girl  
One on one, the queen of two worlds  
She was your woman, but she was my girl  
That would make her ours  
Mmmm hmmm||_**

****

Logan sighed and leaned back against the sofa. "Mmm." He murmured. "Dare."

Alec paused. "Hold on, let me think." He paused. After a few moments he looked over at the older man. He paused and looked at him. "Logan," he whispered.

When Logan didn't move he breathed a sigh of relief. Standing up, she brushed of his pants. "Finally." He claimed and walked over to the computer. Reaching into hid pocket, he pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper that he had liberated from Max's dresser. One of the drawers, to be exact. Which it was taped to the bottom of. Not that he was, looking, or anything.

  
||**_She was your woman, but she was my girl  
One on one, the queen of two worlds  
She was your woman, but she was my girl  
That would make her ours  
Mmmm hmmm||_**

****

Alec sighed as he placed the paper on the computer. He didn't love Max… he had WANTED her, yeah, but he didn't love her. Logan, he loved Max. And his theory on life was to tell people how you feel. So if they wouldn't, he would. He turned and walked out.

The paper fell to the floor. It was worn from being handled so much, torn in the corner and carefully taped, and on the corner was a lipstick stain where it had been pressed to someone's mouth in a bittersweet kiss to a man who couldn't receive it.

The words upon the paper, however, were in perfect condition.

Forever Eyes

Dark

Somebody's Angel

Review!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. I try, Macy Grey; PG

Disclaimer: Not mine. Oh well.

A/n: I wrote this in about an hour, so it's weird. It starts in the car, ends in the cabin. Not very difficult. Just read.

//intro//

~~How does he do that? How is he so calm? Does he not KNOW that he will probably never see me again? At least Zack's here, he can keep me under control. God, I never thought I'd be this thankful for my over protective big brother.

This music is so sad. I wonder what it is.~~

(M)"What are we listening to?"

~~Logan looks surprised I said anything. Maybe I should just be quiet-~~

(L)"Sibelius."

(M)"It's sad."

(L)"Yeah."

~~Oh yeah, way to go Max. Now he thinks you're an idiot. Great last impression… last impression. God, I don't want to leave him.~~

//games, changes and fears  
when will they go from here  
when will they stop  
I believe that fame  
has brought us here  
and we should be together babe  
But we're not//

~~I can't believe I've only known him for a few months. I feel like I've known him forever. I wish we could stay in the car, and just keep driving, but I know that won't happen. God, as much as I am glad Zack is here, I wish I could have some time to talk to Logan alone. Like a few more hours. A day. Hell, go for it all. A year.~~

(L)"We're here."

~~Eek.! WE are? We just got in the car. I don't want to leave him. Um… where is Zack going? Ok, I definitely like it better with him in the car.~~

(L)"Here you go."

~~No, Logan, don't give him the key-~~

(Z)"Thanks for helping out."

~~No! Zack, where are you going? Why aren't you being protective and dragging me out of the car?~~

(L) "I'd wish you good luck, but…"

~~Logan, what ARE you saying? He won't get it. To get it requires a sense of humor. That's something my wonderful brother doesn't have.~~

(L) "He's a fun guy."

//I play it off

But I'm dreaming of you babe

I keep my cool but I'm feeling

I try to say goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near//

~~Yeah… wait! Is he talking to me? Yes, he's looking at me. Ok, Max, say something-~~

(M) "You should see him get his drink on at the x5 reunions."

~~ Oh, great. Brilliant comment. Wow, this is awkward.~~

(L) "You're going to be okay, you know?"

~~Oh, god, he's so sweet…. I have to leave. I do. Maybe he'll come with me… no. He won't. I hope he'll be fine without me. What am I thinking? Of course he will. Still-~~

(M) "Oh, yeah. I'll be better than okay. It's the way I'm made. It's you I'm worried about."

(L) "I'll miss you."

//I came up here to be free

But I'm just a prisoner

Of your love

And I may seem all right

And smile when you're leave

But my smiles are just up front,

Just up front

Hey,//

~~He'll miss me??? He will? Oh, god. Last resort now.~~  
(M) "You could always ditch it all and go on the lam with me. Great way to visit exotic places, meet new people."   
~~Wow. That sounded desperate. Oh well, maybe that's what he needs. Anyway, if he says no, then it won't matter.~~

(L) "I'd just slow you down."   
~~Ok. That would qualify as saying no. I can't just let him go. But he's right… I don't care. It doesn't matter to Me.~~

(M) "It's okay."

                (L) "I have to go back. Someone has to watch out for the downtrodden. Blah, blah, woof, woof, right?"

                (M) "Right."

                ~~Oh, that was harsh. Don't throw my words back at me! He won't come. God, what am I going to do without him?~~

//I play it off

But I'm dreaming of you babe

I keep my cool but I'm feeling

I try to say goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near//

(L) "Take care of yourself."   
~~I'm leaving. I am leaving. I've done it before, it was never this hard. Turn. Walk. Open door. Leave. Not a hard concept.~~  
(M) "You, too."   
~~Why am I not moving? This is bad. I should be moving. Ok, moving. God, this hurts. I don't want to leave him. Ok, don't think. Just walk for the door.~~

//Here is my confession

May I be your possession

Boy I need your touch 

Your love, kisses, and such

With all my mind I try

But this I can't deny

Deny//

  
                ~~OK, there is no way I am letting him stay that easily. What am I doing- Oh god. I'm kissing him. I'm kissing him. Wait- he's kissing me! HE'S KISSING ME! Ok, stop. Max, stop. Oh god. Ok, bad idea. Kiss.~~

                (L) "Just go."

                ~~Go? Excuse me? Going is not an option. But I don't want to hurt him, and he'll get hurt if I stay. I don't want to want him this much- I've never needed anyone like this. It's so scary. No, it's a thrill. But I need to go.~~  
  


//I play it off

But I'm dreaming of you babe

I keep my cool but I'm feeling

I try to say goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near//

                ~~I can NOT believe I did that. What was I thinking? And I'll never see him again. So it doesn't matter. So why can't I get him off my mind? Before I could just block it out. Now my wall, my little blockade to keep me sane, is permanently stuck open. And I **will** go insane, no doubt. The feeling of kissing him… not helping. I can't get him out of my mind. His smile, his laugh, his eyes. Oh, wow, his eyes. Why did I leave him?

//goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

Try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it

It's clear

My word crumbles when you are not near

yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah//

                ~~It's all Manticore's fault. And Lydecker's. Why did they do this to me? I think I must have been made to be miserable. But mostly it's mine. I opened up to Logan, despite knowing that emotions are weakness. How can a man I just met do this? No one has ever done it before. My wall, so well build, piece by piece has been shattered. And until I can clean it up, I will have to learn to step carefully to avoid being cut be the shards.


	6. Superman, Five for fighting; PG13

A/N: I wrote this when I was sugar high. It's just a strange little piece. And BTW, the reason I'm posting so mush I because I'm going through my hard drive posting all these stupid little things I didn't post before. Anyway, Lyrics are Superman by Five For Fighting, and are bold. Don't ask, just read and review.  
  
Disclaimer: not mine.  
  
  
  
::I can't stand to fly I'm not that naïve  
  
I'm just out to find the better part of me  
  
I'm more than a bird more than a plane  
  
More than some pretty face beside a train and it's not easy to be me.::  
  
God, my life is a mess. I don't know why I pretend that everything is all right. I know it's not and Logan knows it's not. I can't live like this, running from everything of my past. Manticore is gone, but so are Ben, and Tinga, and Brin… and Zack? Zack is worse then gone. Zack is somewhere out there, happy, no memory of me or anything else. He doesn't remember the pain, the harsh lives, running and stealing to survive. He has no abusive past, from military to foster homes, no dead siblings on his hands. No wonders of what he did wrong that his life is so screwed up, no haunting feeling of the snap of his brother's neck in your hands. No feelings of holding a cold, wet, lifeless body to your arms, knowing they finally got your sister. No feelings of hopelessness as his sister turned him over, not remembering him as he was when he last saw her, but as the child he was, obeying his worst enemy like she was the blue lady. No dreams of watching his first home, despised as it was, go up into flames; no watching all his brothers and sisters go out into a world not ready for them. He's happy, nothing dark chasing after him, out to get him. He can start clean, a new, normal life. But all my demons are too fast for me, that's one thing I've learned in the real world. No matter how fast you are running, your demons are faster.  
  
::Wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees  
  
Find a way to lie About a home I'll never see  
  
It may sound absurd But don't be naïve  
  
Even heroes have the right to bleed::  
  
And then there's Logan. Everything about Logan-- it's so different now. I want to have it be like old times, playing chess and eating together, the pure chemistry between us keeping us warm no matter how cold it was in life. And, of course, playing with the fire; minds doing nose dives at another comments, blushing at how innocent comments come out. Simple touches setting off emotions, hovering over each other, not knowing what would happen if one of us had to leave. The burning desire is just building up now, no outlet, and slowly it turns into annoyance and sharp words. I wish I could talk to Logan, touch him, and tell him how I feel about him, but that won't happen. With the virus, and Logan's feelings about being in the chair, and Asha? Who am I kidding? It's not Asha. I don't even think I'm as jealous of her and Logan as a couple as I am of the thought that they are friends, and can touch. She can wander around his apartment, wake him up in the middle of the night when he falls asleep at the computer, and help him to bed. I am jealous of the fact that Asha is acting my part. That they don't have this baggage. I am jealous of the fact that they are all fine. THEY can deal. It's all just me. If only I KNEW what I felt for him, it would be fine?  
  
::I may be disturbed but won't you concede even heroes have the right to dream  
  
And it's not easy to be me. Up, up and away, away from me, well it's alright. You can all sleep sound tonight, I'm not crazy or anything::  
  
But when I met Alec, he just had this effect on me, and it's like this urge to be around him when I'm not, to get away when I am-- this could drive a girl insane. I was so sure I loved Logan when I kissed him right after I was in heat, and I was so scared when I thought I would never see him again; now, he's has changed. I'm not sure what happened, but I kissed him when I got back from Manticore, and it was full of relief and care and reverence that we were together again, but not love. Not love at all. I never had the desire to be around him like I do with Alec. Alec's smart-ass comments, the little verbal wars like I used to have with Logan, are what keep me going some days. Whenever I see him picking up another woman, this feeling flares up inside of me. I blame him-- it's annoyance at seeing him treat women like objects. But then there's the little voice in the back of my head. 'Aha,' it says, 'but you wouldn't mind if it were you, would you?' And as much as I hate it, I can't deny that. The feeling I call annoyance seems suspiciously like jealousy. But that can't be, he's just like Zack, growing up in the same place. Isn't that still like incest? But then the little voice intervenes again, pointing out that 'You grew up with Zack, he knows you up and down, inside and out. But Alec is a mystery, and he has your history. He has that connection that you and Logan missed, he appreciates the fear of feelings.' And the only thing I can tell myself, the only thing to wipe away that thought -the thought that maybe I should act- is a mental gesture and an order for that annoying little voice to shut up.  
  
::I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive  
  
Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees  
  
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet digging for kryptonite on a one-way  
  
street::  
  
The only little piece of my life that hasn't changed is my friends at Jam Pony. I still have moments where Original and I are talking, laughing as she whines about this week's lickity chick, and Normal tells us to work, and with a quick shut down or an empty promise we get him away and keep laughing. Or I'll be at Crash, playing foosball and drinking beer, beating Sketchy or Cindy while the others cheer us on, winning as always, and then as the latest victim shakes their heads in shock, Herbal preached of Him and how "It's all good, all de time." That when I actually feel like nothing happened, like I never got captured, Zack never left, Logan might page any minute, and I'm the only transgenic known of in Seattle. That I don't need to stop by and see Joshua, because he isn't there, and I can just live life for living and be free of this burden. I love Joshua, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wish I could be lonely instead, and not having a living reminder of what I've done. So when I get that feeling, or lack thereof, I have to grasp it and go with it for as long as I can. But these moments are always too short-- As Original and I head out, package in hand, Alec walks in, giving me a small smile that I have this need to deflect. Or Asha walks  
  
into Crash, ordering a drink, and I pick her up immediately, thanks to my advanced hearing. But all my friends don't, as I watch her go sit in the corner, they keep on going, not bothered. Only I see it, and feel the now familiar tug. There is really no escape to my life. My little strange life that I wanted so badly, now is just painful, more painful then anything She  
  
could have done to me.  
  
::Only a man in a silly red sheet looking for special things inside of me.  
  
Inside of me, inside of me, inside of me, inside of me. I'm only a man in a  
  
funny red sheet only a man looking for a dream  
  
Only a man in a funny red sheet and it's not easy,  
  
It's not easy to be me.:: 


	7. Hey Man, Nelly Furtardo; PG13

This was my first-ever Dark Angel fic.  
  
It's all not mine, duh. Nothing here is.  
  
It's not really a song fic as much as inspired by the song.  
  
Here is the song:  
  
Hey man, don't look so scared, you know I'm only testin you out, Hey man, don't look so angry, you're real close to figuring me out. We are a part of a circle, it's like a mobius strip, and it goes round and round until it looses a link. And there's a shadow in the shy, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly again. Hey man, we look at each other with ample eyes, I am so tired of mirrors- pour me a glass of your wine! And there's a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly once again. I've got a bunch of government cheques at my door. Each morning I try to send them back but they only send me more. I look at myself in the mirror; Am I vital today? Hey man, I let my conscience get in the way! And there's a shadow in the sky, and it looks like rain, and shit is gonna fly once again, and I don't mean to rain on your parade, but pathos has got me once again, and I don't want ambivalence no more, I don't want ambivalence no more, I don't want ambivalence no more, no, I don't want ambivalence no more!  
  
***  
  
Max grimaced. Original Cindy was driving her insane, with more crap about Logan.  
  
"Boo, listen, you know Logan and I are-"  
  
"Just friends. So you say. But you can't fool Original Cindy. I know how nuts you were going when you had that Manticore bug. Admit it, you like him."  
  
"Of course I do! He right up there with you, he's my second best boo!"  
  
"Max, hun, you are getting confused. Boo and Boy are two different things, and when you talk about Logan your face shows Original Cindy just how much you lo-"  
  
Max's beeper went off just at that second, cutting Original Cindy off. 'Thank god' thought Max. 'I don't think I could take hearing the rest of that sentence!'  
  
Original Cindy grinned knowingly as Max shrugged, noting the relief flooding her best boo's face. Max turned, waved goodbye to Normal, making sure he knew she was leaving, and she hopped on her baby, and shot off towards Foggle Towers.  
  
Max walked up the stairs to Logan's apartment, but as she raised her hand to knock, she stopped and grinned. She reached to get her trusty lock picking kit that she never went anywhere without and silently entered his apartment. She walked in and smelt the familiar aroma of Logan's brilliant cooking. She walked into the kitchen, leaning against the doorway. She took the moment to look at how wonderful he looked standing, how cute his… she cut herself off at that thought. 'Max, don't go there. You know he doesn't think of you like that.'  
  
Logan suddenly got the odd feeling of being watched. He knew it was Max, because he could sense her presence in a room. He grinned and waited for her to make her presence known.  
  
"Knock knock," Max finally said.  
  
"Well, hello there, how are you?" Logan replied, not jumping as she expected, but continuing to stir whatever was on the stove.  
  
Max grinned and walked up to him, tracing her fingertips up and down his back. "Logan, you are brilliant. You saved me from Original Cindy." Sensing his confusion, Max smiled.  
  
"Whatever you say, Max." Logan silently told himself that Max was just a friend. She said so herself. And that the fact that she was standing directly behind him should not have any affect on him at all. After all, she never made any move to get farther into their friendly relationship, even after she was cured. Hell, they never talked about the kiss that they had shared when Max first returned.  
  
Max fought with herself about Logan; she wanted to kiss him, but she didn't want to take any chances. One day, about a month after she had returned, she had had a terrible seizure. Logan and Original Cindy had taken her to a specialist. Dr. Delton had escaped from Manticore after she had found out what they were really doing, apparently, and therefore had the experience to help Max. Dr. Delton had done what they couldn't dream of- she had changed Max's DNA so the seizures didn't happen. When Dr. Delton had learned of Max and Logan's problem, she had an idea. She changed Logan's junk DNA a bit… just enough so he could touch Max without getting the disease. She had given Max a vial of the antidote Dr. Delton had created, just in case. However, Dr. Delton had been killed in a terrorist attack on the hospital she was in, and Max was terrified to do anything intimate with Logan, for fear of infecting him again. Now she was able to touch him, but kissing or anything past that, was, in her mind, out of the question.  
  
And as Max was thinking this, telling herself to control herself, to not even go there in her mind, she stared at Logan's back, all of three inches from her front. Then Logan turned around.  
  
***  
  
Original Cindy stood talking to the group at Crash, complaining about Max and Logan. Max loved him so much she couldn't kiss him from fear, and refused to see how much Logan cared; and Logan loved Max but thought she didn't love him from the distance Max was painfully keeping herself at. Original Cindy shook her head. 'My boo is nuts. My boo's boy is nuts. Those two need help.'  
  
***  
  
Max stopped dead as Logan turned quickly around, reaching for a wooden spoon behind her. 'Shit.' She thought, hold herself perfectly still. 'How the hell does Logan do this to me?'  
  
Logan silently beat himself up for forgetting she was right behind him. He quickly grabbed the spoon and spun around, the image or Max's face burned into his mind. The look of a deer caught in the headlights, frozen with fear, pure vulnerability. 'Damn.' He thought to himself. 'That goes to show you how much a idiot you are to like her like that. She just wants to be friends. She-' and with thought, Logan's mind went blank.  
  
Max had been beating herself up for not doing something, for standing so close, for everything in general that did not require the acceptance of how close she had been to kissing him. That didn't make her face the fact that she actually was mad at herself for not telling him how much she liked him. She knew he loved her at one point, had wanted to be more than friends. But before she was captured, she had refused to admit it, and after she just didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise… after the kiss he had given her when she came back… the kiss that had revealed their feelings. They never spoke of that kiss. Max mentally kicked herself. 'Even if he does… LIKE you,' she began to herself, not able to say love, 'Now he loves you like a sister. That's why you cant l… l… love…' Max was shocked at that word when it flew to her mind. She wondered whether it was appropriate. And it was. So she wrapped her arms around his waist, and noting how perfect it felt, kissed his shoulder through the thin cotton of his shirt.  
  
Logan slowly unfroze, and turned around very slowly, for fear he was dreaming, and fear of waking up. He saw Max's face, shocked at what she had done, maybe more shocked that he was. He started to say… something. Now that he thought about it, he had no clue what to say. So he bent down to kiss her- but she was gone.  
  
***  
  
Max cursed herself for running. And kissing him. 'What the hell were you thinking? Why the hell did you do that?' Max groaned and mentally smacked herself. 'I to talk to someone… Original Cindy!' Max did a quick 180 and shot off toward Crash, where she knew her best friend would be.  
  
***  
  
Max pulled into the lot at Crash, and locked up her bike. She walked into the not-so-famous bar, and automatically picked out her friends voices. As she walked over, her advanced hearing picked up their conversation.  
  
"...and Mr. Money bags hook up by next week." Cindy stated.  
  
Sketchy shook his head. "No, girl, those two…" He trailed off as he saw Max standing behind Original Cindy. "Will most definitely win the foosball tournament tonight." He grinned lamely and gestured to the tables. Herbal saw the confusion on Original Cindy's face.  
  
"Hi, Max." He said pointedly.  
  
Original Cindy Turned around to see Max standing behind her. "Hey sugga…" she trailed off as she saw the faint panic flooding Max's eyes. She turned to the boys. "We'll be right back… don't get arrested." And with that, she dragged Max to a quieter corner of Crash.  
  
Original Cindy sat Max down on a couch in the dark corner she had found that was 'unused'. "So, sugga, tell Original Cindy what is up with you." She said bluntly.  
  
Max didn't even try to deny it; she turned to Cindy and spilled. "Logan- and-I-were-in-his-kitchen-and-I-was-standing-behind-him-and-then-he-turned- around-and-I-felt-like-kissing-him-for-some-reason-so-when-he-turned-back- to-the-stove-I-did-and-now-he-hates-me-and-I-totally-blew-it!" she said loudly.  
  
Original Cindy stared at Max in shock, but as Max neared tears even more, Original Cindy hugged her best friend. "Honey, how do you know Logan hates you? Did he say that?" Original Cindy frowned. "If he said anything Original Cindy will hurt that boy, boo."  
  
Max shook her head, looking down. "He didn't—I mean—I just know. I mean, he just stared at me. In total shock. And-"  
  
Original Cindy cut her off. "Why did you kiss him?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"Sugga, Original Cindy doesn't believe a word of that. Do you love him?"  
  
"Cindy! No. Hormone attack or somethin. He's just a friend."  
  
"Girl, you can't fool Original Cindy. If you don't love him, and he don't love you, how did you think he would react?"  
  
Max looked up. Original Cindy gasped quietly. Max's eyes were filled with tears. "I don't know," she said quietly, beginning to sob. Suddenly her beeper went off.  
  
Original Cindy grinned to herself, despite the shock of seeing her friend- who believed that showing emotion was not acceptable-in tears. "OK, Max, so if he hates you, why is he blowin up your pager?"  
  
Max pulled her pager off her belt and handed it to Original Cindy without even looking at the number. "Call him. Tell him I don't want to talk to him. He just want to say that it was a mistake, that he thought we were just friends… he wants to hear me blame hormones or something so he can go back to using me for legwork."  
  
***  
  
Original Cindy looked at the pager in her hand, and at the number. It was Logan's, of course. "Boo, you sit tight. Original Cindy will go talk to the boy. Don't worry, it'll be aiight." She walked to the phone any pushed the numbers on the pager. It rang, and on the second ring, someone picked up.  
  
"MAX?" someone asked.  
  
"No, this is Original Cindy."  
  
"I need to talk to Max."  
  
"Logan, no-" Original Cindy replied, annoyed.  
  
"What?" a very confused voice answered. "This is Bling. Logan got hurt."  
  
Original Cindy punched the wall, annoyed. "What do you mean, 'hurt'? Like, in the hospital hurt? Please tell Original Cindy that's not what you mean," she said. 'Please say no, please say no, please say no-'  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Shit. Where?  
  
"Mercy Columbine Hospital."  
  
"How? What happened?"  
  
"He apparently ran out for some reason, looking for Max or something, and got hit by a stupid idiot driving a car drunk."  
  
"Shit. Ok. We'll be there in 20." Original Cindy hung up the phone and walked over to were Max sat, huddled in a corner. "Max, we have to go. Can you drive us to Mercy Columbine Hospital?" Cindy asked.  
  
Max looked up sharply. Original Cindy noted how Max's sadness had changed to a hard, cold look. "WHY would we need to go to Mercy Columbine Hospital, Cindy?" she said in a very quiet yet deadly voice. "I do not want to go to Mercy Columbine Hospital, Cindy. I would like to stay in this spot." Max's face was void of emotion, perfectly blank.  
  
Cindy just shook her head. "Original Cindy will tell you when we get there. Can you drive? Your baby will get us there fastest, and you know I don't do well on that thing." She stated. Max glared at Original Cindy but nodded, and headed out to the parking lot.  
  
As they pulled into the parking area of the hospital, Max turned to Cindy expectantly, face still calmly blank. Original Cindy shook her head once more. "Inside." She directed.  
  
***  
  
As Max and Original Cindy walked into the hospital Max turned to Cindy, and put a hand on her shoulder, tightening her grip slightly. Max tried to calm herself down. 'Ok, Max, calm down. Cindy is your friend. You do not want to hurt her.' Max turned to Cindy.  
  
"Ok, Cindy, here we are. In Mercy Columbine Hospital. No, I would like to inform you that I do not like hospitals. And I am getting bitchier by the moment. Please tell me why we are here." She said.  
  
"Max, boo, I think you should sit down." Original Cindy started.  
  
"NO, Cindy, just tell me."  
  
"Logan," was all Cindy could bring herself to say.  
  
Max felt herself start to wobble. "Logan sent us here, right? He wanted me to get a file, right? He not… he's not…" she sat down on the floor, hard, and looked at Cindy.  
  
"Max, honey, Logan was in a car accident. He rushed out of his apartment, and a drunk driver didn't see him…" Cindy couldn't bring herself to continue. Instead, she knelt by Max, wrapping her in a hug.  
  
Max let herself go. Her mind turned blank, she just sat there, in Cindy's embrace, until Cindy moved away. Max stood up, eyes stinging with tears she would not let herself cry, and walked to the front desk. She turned to the nurse, and her face hardened.  
  
"Cale. Logan Cale. Car accident, this afternoon. Is he on record?"  
  
Max noticed how the nurse seemed to debate with whether or not to tell her, seeming to wonder if this professional woman was a doctor, and wondering what would happen if she refused to tell this woman anything. Max felt a slightly cynical smirk growing on her face. 'Well well well, Manticore has its uses after all.'  
  
The nurse sighed, ending her internal battle. "Well, you must be Doctor Hart. Can I see your ID…" She trailed off, seeing the look on Max's face. "Never mind. Your patient is in room 309, ICU." She ended nervously.  
  
Max felt her heart stop. ICU. That sounded bad. Max forced herself to smile. "Thank you," she said. Max turned and walk briskly to where Cindy was emerging from a rest room. She grabbed Original Cindy's arm and pulled her to the doors to the inner part of the hospital.  
  
"Max, where are you taking Original Cindy?" Cindy asked, sounding scared.  
  
Max turned to her, her gaze hard once more. "Room 309, according to the nurse. He's in ICU. What is ICU, Cindy?"  
  
Max continued her brisk walk in the direction the arrow on the wall pointed. She heard Cindy stop and gasp.  
  
"Max, ICU means it's bad. ICU is the intensive care unit."  
  
Max broke into a run, bursting into Manticore's fastest sprint, not caring who saw her, with only one thought. 'Shit. I killed him.'  
  
Max sprinted to the end of the hall, looked at the numbers on the wall, and turned right. She walked halfway down the corridor, and stopped in front of a door. She glanced at the sign outside the door, and walked in.  
  
***  
  
She gasped as she saw Logan lying on a hospital bed, skin white and cuts blood red. He lay there, eyes closed, breathing soft but clearly labored, despite the many machines he was hooked too. Max shook away the thoughts of Zach, and how he had looked when Renfro had shown him to her. 'Damn, Logan. I'm sorry. Fuck, what did I do to you?' Max felt the tears building up behind her eyes. She turned away from him, and let loose. She sat curled up in a corner, silently, thinking about Logan. 'Girl, what are you going to do without him? You love him… he saved you so many times.' Max didn't know how long she lay there, thinking, but soon a doctor came in.  
  
Max turned around, and saw a young woman, about 20, plain but pretty, standing in front of Logan's bed. The woman turned around, sensing Max.  
  
"Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude. I'm Dr. Latasha. May I ask how you know Mr. Cale? Girlfriend, sister, wife…" Dr. Latasha trailed off, waiting for an answer.  
  
Max faltered, unsure how to act around this woman. "Um… I am Max. I'm his friend-"  
  
Dr. Latasha cut her off. "Max? Oh, so YOU'RE Max. When Mr. Cale came in, he was said that we had to tell his dark angel, Max, his message. Wouldn't stop babbling about it. We had to drug him to get him to calm down!" Max gulped. Logan wanted to tell her he didn't like her like that, and that she should go. Dr. Latasha, not seeing Max's hesitation from her position at the machines, continued. "He says you shouldn't have run." Dr. Latasha smiled at her, the light eyes revealing that she knew more then she let on. Suddenly the doctor turned back to business. "Now, you really should not be in here. But I'm done, and I'm going to leave, and pretend I didn't see you. Machine checks are every half hour… Next time I wont be so nice."  
  
Max blinked. She hadn't been expecting that. She was expecting a lecture and then being sent back to the waiting room. Before she could thank the doctor, the young woman was gone. Max pulled herself together and turned to the pale man lying on the bed in the center of the room.  
  
At the sight of him, she lost it again. "Logan. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. This is all my fault… all my fault…" Max trailed off, and curled up on the floor against his bed. She let the tears flood and sobs wracked her body.  
  
***  
  
Logan lay in the small white hospital bed, groggy from the pills, but anxious for some reason. His tired brain could only process one thought at a time. His first thought, of course, was, 'Damn. I hurt like hell." Logan shifted painfully in the little bed. He groaned. He closed his eyes, and moments later felt a cool hand on his forehead, then running through his hair and tracing down his face to end on his lips. He groggily looked up at the blurry dark figure above him. "Mom?" he said in a little voice.  
  
Max looked down at him, the man she hours before had feared would break her heart. His little groan of pain had woken her from her light sleep. She smiled down at the man she loved, but it was a sad smile because he seemed so little and vulnerable. She had never seen him without his 'Super Cale/Eyes Only out to save the world' protective wall.  
  
"No, Logan, its Max." The words were softly spoken but rattled around in Logan's head. It took a few seconds for them to register.  
  
"Maxie?" he asked, sounding like a little boy.  
  
"Yeah, Logan, I'm here. I have to go, but I'll be back really soon. The nurses don't want me in here. I'll see you later, OK?" Max was unsure if she should go, but she knew that if she stayed longer, she wouldn't be able to leave him alone in this room. As she turned to go, Logan called out quietly, voice muffled by dreary pain.  
  
"Max. Fuck da nurses. I needs ta talk to you."  
  
Max couldn't help but smile at his wording, the drugs clearly affecting his normal editing of his language, despite her fear of what he would say. "Fine, Mr. Cale. What do you want to say?"  
  
Logan attempted to smile. "You shouldn't… have…" he was cut off by a yawn.  
  
Max took the interruption gladly and quickly intervened. "Logan. You need to sleep and get better, okay? Do it for me. Please." As she turned to leave, she didn't hear him attempt to finish his thought…  
  
"Maxie… you didn't gotsta run."  
  
But as he finished this proclamation, Max was already gone, and he fell asleep once more.  
  
***  
  
When Logan awoke, it took him a few moments to figure out he was moving forward. Either that or he was really, really drugged. But he felt much more aware, and upon further inspection promptly realized that he was missing his glasses. As he struggled to see what was happening, a perky nurse popped out from behind him.  
  
"Hi! Well, Mr. Cale, how do you feel?" She asked brightly. Logan groaned quietly. 'What did I do to deserve this?' he asked himself, while out loud saying,  
  
"I just got run over. 3 guesses on how I feel."  
  
-|a/n: I actually had a nurse like this. I was seven and they thought I had appendicitis, and so when this perky nurse woke me up to take my vitals at three in the morning, and I bit her head off. Actually, my mom says I said, 'I'm sick! Don't you know I need my sleep!' and promptly feel back to sleep.|-  
  
The perky nurse just smiled. "Well, you'll be up and at 'em soon enough! So smile, it'll make the time hurry up. Now, there is a very nice lady waiting for outside your room…"  
  
Logan brightened considerably at the thought of Max. Suddenly, something occurred to him. "My room?" he asked.  
  
The nurse smiled. "Of course! You're doing well enough we decided to take you out of ICU. Isn't that lovely?"  
  
Logan scowled. "Just grand." He replied, but the sarcasm was lost on the nurse.  
  
Max sat in the corner of the waiting room, huddled up against the wall. Original Cindy had popped out a few minutes ago, promising to return as soon as she could. Max sniffled, her Manticore genes not able to hold out against these emotions. Max thought back to Zack. 'He always said emotion was weakness… I guess he was right. I shouldn't be here. I should leave. Hospitals are government. For all I know the nurse called the police. Lydecker could be on his way over. I should leave.' Max unconsciously frowned at these thought, her beautiful face scrunched up in pain for Logan.  
  
Original Cindy walked into the cold waiting room, carrying two styrofoam cups of coffee. She walked up to Max, and sighed as she looked down at her.  
  
"Max? Kay, look up, boo. I have coffee…" Original Cindy trailed off and pushed the hot cup into Max's hands. Max looked up, and Original Cindy saw how red her eyes were.  
  
"OK, boo. I'm gonna tell you something that will make you very happy to hear, but first you gotta answer one of my questions, aiight boo?" Original Cindy looked down at her suddenly aware best friend.  
  
"Fine, Cindy; is it about Logan?" She asked.  
  
"Just wait. Ok, Max. So, fill me in here. You tell Original Cindy you don't love Logan—and that's fine with her if it gets ya through the day-- but she comes back and here you are, in a hospital waiting room. Hell, you're waiting on the floor for him. And crying. So, tell me, hun, what's going on here that you aren't telling Original Cindy?"  
  
Max took a sharp breath; as if something scary that had loomed in the dark corners of her life had just stepped into the light. "Fine, Cindy. I love him, aiight? I love him, and I can't do a fucking thing about it. I wasn't made to love. I'm not supposed to. I'll just end up killing him."  
  
Max stood up and walked away. Original Cindy ran to catch her friend and hugged her. 'Well, at least she admitted it to herself. That's a start,' Original Cindy smiled at that thought, but jumped when Max poked her and demanded,  
  
"Info on Logan?"  
  
Original Cindy laughed. "Max, I heard he's out of ICU." Max jumped away from Cindy's embrace, rubbed her eyes and started to head to the nurses station.  
  
"Max, WAIT! I saw him. He's just down the hall. No need to scare the nurses again, boo."  
  
Max grinned sheepishly. "Right. But it's so much fun…" she trailed off.  
  
***  
  
Logan sat in his bed, waiting impatiently for Max to come in. The nurse had said she was coming. He hoped she would, be couldn't wait to see her, and clear up the misunderstanding before.  
  
Logan smiled as he heard footsteps echoing through the halls. The dark haired beauty looked in. "Logan?" she asked uncertainly. He struggled to sit up and then smiled at her. "Hey, Max."  
  
Max smiled back. "Hey. How are you feeling?"  
  
He smirked. "Like I got run over."  
  
Max laughed lightly and walked over to him. "Very funny, Logan. You scared the hell out of me." She chided, her voice cracking and betraying her bright smile.  
  
Logan looked closer at her and saw the redness of her eyes, the sign of tears that had, just recently, fallen. "Hey," he started gently. "I'm sorry. Come here."  
  
Max walked right to the side of his bed, and sniffled. "What?"  
  
He reached out and grabbed her waist. "I'm really sorry, Max. I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he guided her to sit on the bed.  
  
Max shuddered involuntarily at he touch. "I know," she whispered. "But…"  
  
"You blamed yourself."  
  
Max nodded violently. "I shouldn't have surprised you. I should have known better." A single tear ran down her cheek.  
  
Logan reached up and wiped it away. "Max, that was the best surprise you could have given me. You just shouldn't have run."  
  
Max looked down. "I'm sorry." More tears fell.  
  
Logan smiled. "Max," he started, "You'd better stop crying or your going to get me wet."  
  
Max smiled weakly at him through her tears. She grabbed a tissue off his bed stand and wiped her eyes. "I'm just…"  
  
Logan shut her up with a finger to her lips. He then took both her hands in his. "Max." he stated, pausing. He raised one hand to his lips, kissing it.  
  
Max took a deep breath, amazed at how much of an effect his simple gesture had on her. "Logan…" she murmured, pulling her hand away from his face. She replaced the area almost immediately, however.  
  
Max leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Logan began to kiss her back, but as she shifted he pulled away and gasped. Max froze. "I'm sorry, Logan, I didn't mean-"  
  
Logan chuckled. "Max, no. It's just that I was in a car accident, so I'm a little sore."  
  
Max laughed as well. Logan reached out, taking her face in his hands, and pulled her to him again.  
  
Moments later they broke apart, out of breath and dazed. "Wow." Max sighed.  
  
Logan laughed quietly. He leaned back against the pillows. "Oh yeah." He agreed.  
  
Max looked at him. She carefully adjusted herself so that she was lying next to him, half on-half off the bed. The only thing keeping her there was her Manticore balance. Logan wrapped and arm around her, helping her stay there. He leaned forward and gently met her lips again, a much different, softer, more dreamlike kiss than the passionate one moments before.  
  
He pulled away quickly, before Max could really react. "Max," he whispered, the drugs having worn off enough to let him have a conversation but not as much as necessary to make him completely coherent. Added to that was Max's close proximity, her smell overwhelming him, plus the heat radiating from both; all in all he was teetering dangerously near the edge of madness. And then, as she smiled softly, he fell off the edge. "I love you."  
  
While in his mind he began to scream as he realized exactly what he had said and the peril he was in—as was Max, chances being that she would fall off the bed—she did not pause. Instead she smiled wider and leaned in towards him. As he went to capture her in another kiss, assuming she couldn't say the words, she pulled away. He stopped, confused. Her smile faded as she looked at him seriously.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Logan, instead, took the role of freezing. He stared at her, not comprehending, totally and completely in shock. Max put her face near his, as near as she could get without kissing him, and whispered against his lips. "What's a girl gotta do to get a kiss from the guy she loves?"  
  
Logan blinked twice rapidly and then closed his eyes. Sensing his shock Max took over. She moved the necessary millimeter and pressed her lips to his, trying to stimulate a response.  
  
Logan, while still having quite a foggy understanding of the circumstances, had a body with a mind of it's own. As he began to kiss her again, his brain gave up.  
  
Again, they both emerged for air after a long moment. In unison, they smirked and spoke.  
  
"Don't you ever do that again!" 


End file.
